Featured Poet: Jimmy Broccoli

Good morning and welcome to another Feature Friday! Today’s is once again, Jimmy Broccoli! I’m so happy that Jimmy is my first official returning feature, he is a wonderful person, he remains one of the most genuinely nice people I’ve met, a trait that can be hard to find in people at times.

Also, I’ve made no secret that I absolutely love his poetry, his collection Boy is one of my favorites I’ve read, and I’m very much looking forward to reading his upcoming The Red Time of the Year expected October 25th!

One of the things I really enjoy about Jimmy’s poetry is how raw it feels, the way it pulls you in and keeps you glued to it. I have written reviews on all four of his poetry collections (Failure being a best of) and will do one on his new book as soon as I have it in my hands! Look also for a review on his adult satire book Mommy I Can’t Find My MotherF**cking Socks coming very soon!

Below are two poems, both from his new collection coming out.

I Am Not a Swan

“Goodbye, my swan”, I reluctantly say as I watch him drift away…

the water ripples gently behind him as he swims for other waters –

as his eyes and his heart and his head now face a different direction –

there are majestic green trees up ahead -

(they consist of multiple shades of vibrant greens and yellows - with hints of various shades of orange)

– and he wonders what is beneath them – he wonders what is beyond them…

I stand in the water – left behind - unmoving

Unclothed and shivering - 

… I am not a swan

____

“Will anyone be joining you tonight, sir?”, the restaurant host asks 

“A table for one, please”, I respond…

“This way, sir”, he says as he leads me to a table in the back of the room 

The chandeliers are exquisitely positioned and presented 

– they hang from the ceiling bold and opulent 

– the white lights blazing wildly across the dimly lit room –

They erupt in magnificent splendor as they blend with the room’s otherwise intentional darkness -

a high-class, uptown setting of brilliance and of abundance

I own only 1 tuxedo (with tails) – and I’m wearing it now…

With a freshly pressed white shirt and cufflinks I borrowed from a friend –

I pay close attention to my posture

I point to my drink selection on the beverage menu because I don’t know how to pronounce it

“That would be lovely”, I respond after the waiter asks if I want a few more minutes to decide on my entrée

The piano player keeps the atmosphere festive and moving – 

providing the soundtrack to an enchanting evening…

I’m not familiar with the (particular) piece he is playing –

because I grew up punk –

but I bask in the glory of its atmospheric melody –

I swirl the wine within my glass like I’ve seen fancy people do in the movies –

I sip it slowly and carefully – (the waiter returns to the table)

I point to my menu selection and the waiter nods his head 

“Fine choice, sir” he replies

The room is filled with swans and with snakes

…and, I am not a swan

____

At age nine I first crossed the path of a snake while hiking with my dad –

It was a sizeable serpent – and it looked at me intensely – 

his forked tongue slithering in and out of its mouth rhythmically and predictably –

his face only a few feet from mine - 

I listened to the incessant rattling of its tail – 

“I am not afraid”, I told the snake

“And, I do not mean to scare you”, it replied

My father abruptly took my hand – and we left the snake

“I was not afraid”, I told my dad –

and he did not respond

____

I order dessert as the assistant waiter takes my now almost-empty dinner plate 

(the decorative parsley and orange slice remain) –

The piano player is winding down for the evening and the tables are no longer full…

I walk slowly – and a bit drunkenly – towards the piano player –

my fifth glass of wine firmly in my hand

“Hello, I’m Jimmy”, I tell the piano player – 

after he finishes his final song for the evening -

he’s handsome – very handsome

____

The piano player (his name is Edward) and I sit side-by-side on a swinging bench at the local park

The sky is bright, and the weather is pleasant and mildly humid –

he looks at me sideways with a smile impossible to forget –

“I like you” Edward tells me as he looks at me directly – his gaze not wondering

“I think I might be a snake”, I reply – “I am not a swan”

“why in the world would anyone want to be a swan?”, he gently chuckles - 

Again, tilting his head and looking at me as if he is trying to understand me

“I am a duck” he tells me – and I laugh sloppily and immensely

“I like you” he tells me – and my hand is over my mouth 

as I realize I just laughed unapologetically and openly – and publicly

“you are not a snake” he tells me with a smile –

a smile impossible to forget

____

“why were you at the restaurant that night?” he asks me three weeks later –

as he smokes a cig, while seated on my 4th floor apartment balcony 

– after an evening of movies and of gentleness and of untellable firsts, I reply…

“I was sad”

He kisses my forehead like he is my guardian – 

like I am a childhood teddy bear

“you are not a snake”, he repeats

“you are a duck – a duck like me” – “not a swan – but a duck”

- and I smile from ear to ear because I’m falling in love…

“I am a duck”, I say only moments before he kisses me seductively –

he kisses me like I am his finest symphony

____

I stand in the same cold water, as I did before –

unclothed and shivering – the swans swimming away from me 

(as if they are scared) …

their heads held up high – their direction clear and predictable...

“I am a duck” he tells me, after kissing me sweetly and with passion –

we lay together on a comfortable blanket in the meadow in the park –

“I want to be a duck” I say – I plead –

‘I really want to be a duck – there is nothing I would rather be” –

… and I begin to cry aggressively…

my forked tongue is now exposed and my tongue leaves and enters my mouth rhythmically and predictably…

(I told you I was a snake!)

I swallow him whole – his body within my throat –

He screams – he then quacks (like a duck) –

And I feel him enter my stomach…

____

“I am a snake – and I don’t want to be!”, I exclaim as my mind violently trembles and revolts…

“You are a snake”, replies the snake…

…then we slither off, together, into the wet grass, my belly full

It is my present

It is my future

… I am not a duck

… I am not a swan

… I am a snake – with a forked tongue that slithers in and out of my mouth, rhythmically and predictably

I just am

______________

It Is What I’ve Become

I wake up in my own vomit –

It’s on my shirt - it is all over much of my pants

and all over the floor around me –

it’s beneath me – I’ve been laying in it all night - 

I wake up in my own vomit because that is what I do now

It is who I’ve become…

I’m lying in my living room floor face down and don’t remember coming home

“Fucking Hell”, I say aloud to a room empty, other than me –

I don’t even have a dog…

The motherfucking next-morning mirror doesn’t lie –

I look like fucking shit – my reflection is an advertisement for being a fucking loser –

I am not mis-categorizing myself – I know what I am

____

“Another pint, love?”, I say to the bartender –

She looks at me with a sideways glance –

“Just one more, love” I say – “then I’ll be on my way” –

She smiles and I tip her a fiver

As a boy I played with tiny cars –

metal, some of the doors opened –

and I played with trucks – 

trucks that went over sand and mud in the backyard –

I played trucks and cars with my dad –

He died a few years ago 

– we didn’t speak for years – but he tried – he did his best –

I have no remaining ill-feelings towards him –

he tried. and I loved him, I suppose –

it’s what we do, I think

“Last call” the bartender announces to the few of us left…

I walk home slowly because the world seems a bit of a blur –

Tomorrow I’ll wake up to a spinning room – I’ll wake up to vomit –

because that is what I do now – that is who I am –

and I’m okay with that – I’ve come to terms with it

____

“I wish your life was better”, the man says – and I can barely hear him…

“I’m okay mate”, I respond as I try to get up from the sidewalk – and I’m squinting because the morning sun is fucking bright as fuck –

“I’ll take you home”, he says – “what is your address?”

“Cheers”, I say – and this is the last memory I have until I wake in my bed

It’s a fucking workday – I’m late, but I make it…

My boss is all up in her tits and I don’t know how to respond –

“Fucking hell”, I say – and it doesn’t go over well –

An early day home for using profanity at work – I’m okay with that –

I stop by the mini-market for a bottle – no, I stop by the mini-market for 2

“I fucking got this”, I tell myself aloud as I walk home

“life isn’t fucking shit”, I say aloud – and I’m not convincing anyone…

____

The neighbor’s dog is fucking loud as fuck in the morning –

barking like fucking titties in a fucking twist –

“Shut up”, I respond – “shut the motherfuck up”, I say –

 – and the dog continues to bark…

“I need a fucking drink” I say aloud

It’s Thursday, and I’m sober until the end of the workday –

On my way home I stop at the pub –

“A double”, I say as I pull bills from my pocket –

“A double?”, the bartender asks, as she looks at me like she’s worried

“I’m okay, love”, I respond to a question that wasn’t asked

I light a cig and look out the pub window as if there is a purpose to look out the window

____

“It’s because I’ve got a big motherfucking dick” I say to the small congregation around the bar

“That’s it!”, the bartender says as she escorts me to the front door –

“I can’t help that I’ve got a big motherfucking dick”, I slur – 

she smiles at me like she’s empathizing with a dog –

“Okay”, I say – and, then, I stumble home

Because that is what I do nowadays

It is who I’ve become

____

It’s 4:00 pm and I’m off work early for appearing intoxicated on the job – 

“I’ll have a double”, I tell the bartender –

She looks at me, hesitantly, and smiles –

“Okay”, she says – “one, and then you go home…”

“Yeah, one”, I say – and I almost hold to my commitment

It would be different now if he had breathed –

So different now if his breath hadn’t stopped – 

If I didn’t see my newborn son turning blue…

And have to watch his mother fall apart as I was falling apart –

If he was still with us…

If only he was still here –

Fucking hell. Fucking fuck all of it.

Fucking fuck it – fuck all of it

He isn’t here anymore – she isn’t here any longer –

Why? Just why? 

“A second one, love?”, I ask – and she pours me a second with an empathetic grin…

She smiles at me – and it’s the highlight of my day

____

Sometimes there is nothing a man can do –

Sometimes the way things are – are the way things are –

A fucking short draw of the fucking straw

I watched his face turn blue…

“A double”, I request – and she smiles and prepares my drink –

“You be careful”, she suggests – and I tell her I will be –

“An’ no more talkin’ about your knob to the other customers, eh?”, she follows with a smile

“Yeah, I can do that”, I reply

There will be vomit on my shirt tonight – and on my pants –

and all over my wooden floors - 

If I remember how I got home, I’ll be lucky –

And I don’t care – I don’t really fucking care –

His face turned blue – and he died – and she left me

It’s who I am –

It’s what I’ve become

It is what I’ve become –

And that is just how it is

Jimmy Broccoli is the author of the poetry collections “Damaged”, “Rabbits”, “Boy”, & “Failure” – with his 5th collection of poems, “The Red Time of the Year”, scheduled to be released in October 2024. Jimmy enjoys playing with puppies (of all ages) and is a beginning bodybuilder.

Jimmy was also at The Last Insomniacathon July 26-28, and has put together numerous anthologies, including the recently released dual anthology called Fallen.

You can find Damaged here https://a.co/d/7BvpiXr

You can find a copy of Damaged audiobook here https://a.co/d/bnez9Mx

You can find Rabbits here https://a.co/d/fQFU9hc

You can find Boy here https://a.co/d/ihi25vi

You can find Failure here https://a.co/d/dGCOoXp

You can find a copy of Mommy I Can’t Find My MotherF**cking Socks here https://a.co/d/g7ErwiV

You can find a copy of his anthology Spotlight here https://a.co/d/9fbaWO3

You can find a copy of his anthology Encore here https://a.co/d/1dFIjH1

You can find a copy of his anthology Ovation here https://a.co/d/21VLyq3